Season 2026 is a Go: Vice-Captain’s Team Triumphs in Queen’s Thriller
Look, matching shoes!
The 2026 season at Dun Whinny officially roared into life this Saturday, though it did so with a characteristically frosty stutter. A 90-minute delay forced an exceptional field of 40 players to retreat to the clubhouse, where strategies were devised over mountains of porridge and enough caffeine to power the Gleneagles hotel. When the rime finally lifted, the Queen’s course was bathed in early spring sunshine, setting the stage for a Captain vs. Vice-Captain clash that would go down to the very last green.
Early Fireworks and Tactical Masterclasses
The opening match saw the Vice-Captain’s duo of Aitchison and Ali race into a two-hole lead, threatening a rout. However, the seasoned class of David Frame and Michael Collier—aided by what some observers uncharitably described as a "dodgy handicap"—clawed their way back to win 2-up on the 18th. First blood to the Captain.
In the "Pressure Cooker" match, the tension was blown sky-high by a Scott Williamson masterclass. Even a brief, watery excursion on the 13th couldn't dampen Williamson’s fire as he and Eric Lambert secured another point for the Captain. The Vice-Captain finally found the scoreboard through the combined talents of past Captain Frank Johnson and Billy Z McNeill (another candidate for the "Handicap of the Year" award), who brushed aside Swa and Lewis with clinical efficiency.
The middle order saw a dramatic half-point secured by Aidan O’Carroll, who rolled in a clutch birdie on the final hole to deny Michael Page and Douglas Hamilton. Meanwhile, the craft of Grant and Moran proved no match for the sheer class of Rob Crockart and Professor Jonathan Fletcher, leaving the Captain’s team sitting pretty with a 3.5 to 1.5 lead.
The Tide Turns
The Vice-Captain’s fightback began in earnest when Messrs Abercrombie and Bilsland secured a vital point. Then came the Big Showdown: Captain Daley Smith vs. Vice-Captain Michael Cantlay. Despite the Captain’s individual heroics—including spectacular birdies on the par-3 2nd and 13th—the match ended in a hard-fought deadlock.
In the "Hibbies" derby, the Vice-Captain’s team surged to a 4&3 victory. Notably, the "Ultras" managed to keep their shirts on for the duration of the battle, a feat of self-restraint almost as impressive as their golf. With Bill Sexton doing his Vice-Captain proud with a 2&1 win, the overall score was flipped. It all came down to the final match on the 18th green.
The Final Act
As the final group approached the 18th, Captain Daley was overheard remarking, "If Mitchell and Wadsworth don’t win, then it wasn't meant to be!" It wasn't. An Andy Barton lookalike (who may or may not have been the man himself) stepped up to roll in the winning putt, securing the match outright for the Vice-Captain’s team.
Cue wild celebrations from the Vice-Captain’s ranks. A crestfallen Captain Smith later remarked, "The boys played well, but the Vice-Captain’s team simply wanted it more." In a gracious response, the victorious Vice-Captain noted, "The game was tight all the way through. The best part of the day was the competitive yet respectful approach from everyone—a fitting start to Dun Whinny’s 90th year! Up the Vice!"
The Spoils of War
While the team match was settled on the green, the Team Stableford game was dominated by the quartet of Lambert, Williamson, Kevin Dickson, and Ken Marshall, who posted a formidable winning score of 131.
Ken Marshall was last seen exiting the premises clutching four bottles of wine with the unmistakable expression of a cat that had not only found the cream but had secured the distribution rights to it.
A magnificent start to the 2026 season. The bar has been set high—both on the course and in the clubhouse. Well played, gentlemen.
Lots of coffee and porridge in the morning!
Another round gents?
Some of the cult members in the sunshine.
